I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
