Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
