dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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