I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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