mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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