I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Two words: blizzard sex
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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