that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
