are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
