What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
