I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Boobs speak an international language.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
