don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
