I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
