I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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