If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
