Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
