I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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