Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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