So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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