yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize