but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize