evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
