He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
