Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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