wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
