dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
