just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
