id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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