when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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