How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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