Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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