You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize