i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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