sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
