im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
