She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
