I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
