dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
