i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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