why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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