God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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