You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
