Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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