I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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