thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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