this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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