He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
