Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
