The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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