doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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