Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize