I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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