Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize