I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
