I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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