I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
