38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize