Already got asked if we're dating
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I understand Curling. That high.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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