he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
