Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He has the fingertips of a God
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