So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
