So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
