it was like eating out sand paper
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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