Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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