I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize