the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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