i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
