I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
