i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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