nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
