She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
